Welcome to Personal Development for Men Issue #48

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Get Tough

You Know You Have to

But life is not always that way.

I have told you my story about how left my wife already. So I do not live with her and haven't for over 5 years. I have been rebuilding my life from that low point to where I am now. It is getting better.

But my ex - wife still has not moved on.

She came over today, it is Sunday as I write this. My son let her in before I had a chance to think or act.

I really did not want to deal with her today. I was working on my laundry, my cleaning, my taxes, my writing and my goals. The last thing I wanted to do was deal with her.

But there she was.

She wanted to take the kids to breakfast. They did not want to go. I suggested she bring something to them. So she left, went to the store and came back with food.

I could tell that she would be difficult. She was fooling around with the food and acting like my apartment was her place. I think she thinks that if she can be like a wife and mother again, I will let her do that.

No chance.

She made the food. I ate. The kids ate. She ate. I said, thanks for lunch, but I have a lot to do today and I have to ask you to get going.

Get your things together and leave.

That is where it got interesting.

She started escalating, talking about how I should do this and I should do that and all the same old things over and over again. She started rehashing all her old statements again. All the reasons I should have stayed with her. All the same stupid nonsense that I am sick of hearing. I did not want to waste any more of my day with her.

I was not having it.

I got tough.

I matter. I keep telling myself over and over again whenever I deal with her - I matter. I am not going to let her steamroll me. I am not going to give in. I am not going to let her back into my life. I am not even going to let her spoil my day. You are not going to ruin my life.

I made her leave. I asked her to go. I made it clear she had to leave. I opened my door, she walked part way out, but not all the way out. She was part way in the door and part way out. I think she expected that I would back down.

She was wrong. I forced her the rest of the way and slammed the door.

I got tough.

You will have to do this too if you have bad person in your life like a bad ex - wife or even a bad wife. This is your life. You have a right to a good life. If someone is making your life miserable. Find a way to get that person out of your life.

You have a right to happiness. You matter. When you are in misery, when you are in pain, get tough with whatever or whoever is causing it.

Your life and your happiness is the most important thing to you.

Find a way to deal with it. You may have to learn something. You may have to reach out to someone. You may have to quit something. You may have to move somewhere.

You may have to get tough.

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