Change Your Life
Not Others

Change your life first, last and always. There is really not much you can do about others.

If you are intent on saving others, I have some advice, don't do it.

First and foremost you need to save yourself. You need to work on your needs, your desires and your life.

Make yourself as big, as strong, as powerful, as healthy, as rich and as happy as you can.

Do what you want to do.

Change your life to whatever it is that you want.

I think my downfall came because I wanted to be the white knight for my wife. I wanted to make her dreams come true.

I just so wanted to do everything for her.

Looking back I should have been more cautious and slow moving and should have done what I wanted.

I was trying to take our engagement slowly. I wanted to enjoy being an engaged couple in love.

She insisted on speeding everything up. We had to buy a house. We had to have the wedding as soon as possible. We had to have a baby right away.

All those things were what I wanted too, just not so fast.

Time flew with her.

I was confident that everything would work out. I pride myself on being confident, an optimist and able to work through adversity.

A better approach for me would have been to slow down the process to something that I was comfortable with. Maybe I was afraid of losing her, so I went along with what she wanted. Looking back if she couldn't be happy with what I wanted, then we are not right for each other. Which is what happened anyway, just years later.

I think a better approach to all this is to slow down to the point of being difficult when people want you to do something that you do not want to do.

Don't just do what someone says when they say it.

Change your life by only doing what is right for you.

If someone else wants you to do something and insists that you do everything fast, in their way, resist. Slow down. Drag your feet. Make it hard for them. Only do what you want to do.

We see this all the time throughout major problems.

Slaves working as slowly as possible.

Prisoners being difficult.

This is the way to get your point across when the ones telling you what to do are tyrants.

It works.

Be as difficult as possible. This is important. You will be training this person how to treat you. You will be teaching this person that you will not just do as you are told. You will not blindly go along. You will only do what you want.

My mistake was just doing what my wife wanted even though I did not want to.

Doing what she wanted did work to change your life for me, just not in the way I wanted.

I love being efficient, getting things done, productivity. So even though she would start something that I did not want to

do, I would work hard at it and get it done even though I did not want to.

She had me trained.

A better approach would have been to not do it.

When she wanted me to join her on the big wedding plans and bring my checkbook to all the meetings I should have said ok but

then not shown up.

When she wanted me to pay on her credit cards I should have not.

When she wanted cash, I should have said no.

When she wanted to remodel the house, I should have not helped.

When all these things piled up around her and she exploded on me because they were not done, I should have left.

Do you get me?

Everything I did, I did it as a mistaken notion that I should be doing what my wife wants no matter what. She would appreciate me and that doing all that was the right thing to do. A man needs to do what his wife wants.

Wrong.

I just became more and more miserable.

Never do anything another person wants you to do unless you want to do it. You will want to just go along because each thing

in and of itself will not be that big of a deal. But once you start doing one thing after another it does become a big deal.

People will be constantly be testing you on this. They will want you to do all kinds of ridiculous things.

You are talking to a girl in a bar. She asks you to watch her purse while she goes to the restroom. Do you do that?

I say no.

I say Ok I will watch it and then get up and leave right in front of her. She is testing you. Will you behave like a good boy and do what she says?

Do you change your life to be a good, obedient beta boy for a girl you do not know.

You could make it funny and say you will for $50 and then put your hand out. Or you could start rummaging around in her purse right in front of her.

I mean think of it? Why would a person ask someone to do something they just met except to find out how much of a tool you are.

Even if her intentions are innocent, that she really does have to go to the bathroom and it is inconvenient to bring her purse, it is good training for you.

Think of it this way. If you were a slave would you be working hard for your master or would you be doing just enough not to get whipped.

If you were a prisoner of war would you tell on a fellow prisoner who escaped or make it difficult for your jailer?

Is someone is bullying you, abusing you, forcing you to do things you don't want to do, make it tough on them, make it hard on them. That is the way.

Change your life by leaving bad people and doing what you want.

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