Yes Dear

Yes dear.

How I hate those words. By themselves they can be wonderful. But when used together they are words spoken by a man who has given up. A man who has let his wife rule his life. By a man whose life is not his own.

I overheard this the other day when I was having breakfast at Panera Bread.

A fellow walked in and his friend greeted him, the friend asked if his wife was sleeping in. The fellow said, no, she did not want to come with but she told him to get a chocolate croissant. The friend said, yes dear, the more you say it the better off you are.

But are you really better off?

I don't believe it for a second.

Saying something so stupid, so simple is supposed to make your marriage great.

It doesn't.

What you want in any relationship is a deep, meaningful, connection. Not just an arrangement where you go to work most of your life to pay the bills, provide the health insurance and other benefits and do what your wife tells you to do.

Yes dear.

I will go to work for 50 years at a job I dislike to pay for a house I cannot afford. I will spend what little free time I have working around the house doing what you say. I will jump when you say jump. I will do what you say do. I will not complain about these excessive demands. I will live my life for you. I have no meaning without you. I am nothing without you. I am only here to serve you. Yes dear.

Don't you want to be with a woman where every moment with her is blissful. Where she is what you always wanted. Where you love to talk to her. Where you love to look at her. Where you love to do things for her.

Don't you want to rush home from work to be with her? Don't you love to sit on the couch with her and snuggle? Don't you want to hold her hand, to kiss her, to put your arm around her, to make love to her?

Don't you want to listen to what she has to say? Don't you want to talk long into the night with her?

Isn't that what you really want?

Not the type of relationship where you are always saying yes to her commands. Where she is barking out orders and has you running around fulfilling and endless list of her whims.

Not where you do all this to keep the peace and you don't want to rock the boat or make waves.

Not where the only way there is harmony in the house is if you are doing what your wife says.

I am not interested in this type of relationship at all. I had that. My marriage was a joke, my life was in shambles. The only relief was when I finally found the courage to leave her. Read my story in How to Leave Your Wife.

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